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Ayn Rand
"I believe Ayn Rand's first love poem went: Roses are red/violets are blue/finish this poem yourself/you dependent parasite" -- Stephen Colbert Ayn Rand (born Alisa Zinovevna Rosenbaum) was a illegal alienhttp://reason.com/archives/2012/02/14/ayn-rand-was-an-illegal-immigrant and the author of the book Atlas Shrugged. The novel is over 6000 pages long and has never been finished by anyone except Alan Greenspan, although Ann Coulter claims to have been inspired by her writing. Life Ayn Rand was born in a dictatorial hell hole where she was forced into hard labour and everything was bad. Initially, she believed that this was as things should be, (except for the blessing of the spelling of her first name, Ayn, which was the most exceptionally cool spelling of one of the most seriously common names in the universe) . However, one day, in a lucent flash of enlightenment, she discovered two profound philosophical truths: "[[Aristotle|''A'' is A'']]", "2 + 2 = 4", and I am "Ann". This epiphany gave her the power to break the chains of oppression and escape to America where any common idea can gain some merit.. There, after finding 2 pennies which she rubbed together, she began working on her philosophy of Objectivism. Developed from first principles, she did not just crib from Nietzsche.At least, we hope she really ''wasn't trying to crib from Nietzsche. Because if she thought she was a Nietzschean, this would offer conclusive proof of her inability to read. While the illiteracy of readers might help to explain Rand's writing style, there is no excuse for forcing them to pay attention to a 95 page speech. Philosophy Rand spent 50 years and tens of thousands of pages of writing, developing and explaining her philosophy of Objectivism. The principles of Objectivism are as follows: *Everyone should act like greedy, selfish assholes.http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_political/7640158.htmlAyn Rand lived her life as a true American by adhering to the believes that the Free Market will fix everything and save her from the evils of socialism. That's why she took that welfare money, so no Real American will have to take it for her, that's sacrifice! You hear that America, it is time for you to move your lazy ass and stop stealing from the American Tax Payer, stop being lazy Welfare Queens! That's it, I just saved you a lot of time. Atlas Shrugged Atlas Shrugged is about a bunch of rich business owners who, like all rich people, started out poor and earned every penny they had. This proves that all poor people are just too lazy to get rich. The business owners got tired of paying their workers, so they all ran away from society and hid in Galt's Gulch, a special enclave for the wealthy, brilliant titans who once carried society on their shoulders. The book ends with them starving to death because they didn't have any laborers to produce food. The Fountainhead The Fountainhead AKA the Bible for far right wing losers is Ayn Rand's lesser-known "other novel" very similar to your gay brother whom you don't talk about. It chronicles the adventures of Rand's Objectivist hero: Howard Roark. His escapades include blowing up housing for the poor, raping a woman, and escaping justice by talking the jury to death. According to Rand, this makes him an anti-social psychopath the ideal man! The moral of the story is that capitalism is about making what you want to make, not what there is a demand for. NFL: Randyan Edition The NFL owners have embraced the teaching of Ayn Rand and have decided to eliminate parasites like Union Referees, these moochers contribute nothing to the spirit of the game. See Also * Going Galt * Objectivism * Laissez-faire ''Footnotes'' External Tubes *The Vice of Selfishness: a Libural View *Angelina Jolie to play Ayn Rand: Hawtest Film Ever! *Ayn Rand wins psychopath humanitarian ward *Ayn Rand to defeat Obama *Patriotic Capitalist Book a best seller in India *Wealthcare Will Save America's Economy *Liburals continue to missunderestimate Ayn Rand *The Awesomeness of Ayn Rand *Ayn Rand taking cyberspace *How Ayn Rand changed America *How Ayn Rand saved another socialist soul *Ayn Rand's movie makes tons of money *Ayn Rand meets #1 Super Fan, Mr. S *Ayn Rand: Hero *Ayn Rand is not Satan! That's a liberal lie! *Ayn Rand and The Gospel of Selfishness *Ayn Rand vilified by the unbelievers *Ayn Rand to sue Satan for stealing her ideas *Ayn Rand university to open soon *Atlas Mugged wins award *Ayn Rand for 2012